Awkward silence. It’s the ultimate mood-killer when you’re on a date with a guy you really dig. So even if the chemistry is there for you two, why aren’t you talking? One guess: He’s a shy guy! And if he’s hesitating on breaking out of his shell, try our 7 tips to get him to open up. You can thank us later.

1. Give and take. If he’s really into you also, he’s going to be nervous that he’ll say the wrong thing. Let him forget his fears by taking the reigns of your conversations. If you share something personal or embarrassing first, he’ll feel more comfortable letting his wall down.

2. During one-on-one hangouts, keep it platonic. Flirting is A-OK, but keep it light. No heavy seduction techniques here. Make him laugh and he’ll loosen up. Maybe he’ll even get the courage to reach for your hand for a little finger cuddling session!

3. Cut down on your technology-based communication. Limit the texting, Facebook-ing, Twitter-ing, emailing, etc. Shy guys feel more comfortable behind a computer or phone because they can edit what they say to get it just perfect, which makes face-to-face time an uncomfortable challenge because he’s put on the spot. The solution? Always call him when you need to chat. It’ll be the baby step he needs to feel more confident in his communication skills.

4. Never lie to him. A common thread among shy guys is that they’ve been wounded badly in the past. So they’re going to move much slower on the building of trust. If he does catch you in a lie, you’ll be taking a more than just two steps backwards.

5. Give him space if he’s in a bad mood or stressed out. If you’ve established a trusting relationship, he will turn to you when he’s ready to talk but on his own time. Shy guys will clam up if you try to pry, so give him the space to acknowledge what he’s feeling. After he decompresses a bit, he’ll recognize just how cool it was of you to let him marinate with his own thoughts first.

6. If you want to initiate a more serious conversation, such as life goals, phrase questions in a theoretical way. Start with a “Do you feel…”-type intro; something more direct could lead a shy guy to return to his shell if he thinks you’re interrogating him.

7. Lastly, but probably most importantly: Build. Him. Up. Shy guys don’t always realize just how awesome they are. That’s why they need our help to remind them they’re top-notch dudes. Meaningful compliments here or there (don’t go overboard!) will help him feel more self-assured, but even better, he’ll feel his most confident when he’s around you.

You may also like to read:

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The Man’s Man List of Cost Efficient Planned Dates

The Don’ts of Dating

The Impact of Mass Incarceration on Black Love

Keep Your Emotions Under Control in Love Matters

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