I do not think it is a huge revelation that Ms. Charlotte Jay is a liberal. A straight woman who is a big believer GBLT issues with not a small feminist streak a liberal? Shocker! I live in the panhandle of Florida which is dangerously close to Alabama and I am dating a Good Ole’ Boy from Georgia who lives in Alabama. I am a blue girl in a red state.
My gay ex-husband and I hardly ever argued, let alone about politics. One could argue we lacked a certain level of passion for each other but that is beside the point. My ex and I voted just about the same in every major election. I was more active in politics than he was, but we watched the news together and would have lively, yet civilized discussions about current events. The new BF and I can hardly decide WHICH news network to watch. I tend to trust NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and for 24 hours news I watch CNN. I am suspicious of 24 hour news just because the amount of “news” necessary to fill 24 hours and keep an audience engaged. He likes to watch FOX News. I find FOX News infuriating. I can sit through “The O’Reilly Factor” but it is a true act of love.
This next paragraph I know is complete crap but it is what I tell myself….
Because I have chosen to live in the South and insist on dating heterosexual men, the likelihood of dating a conservative is rather high. My boyfriend is a good guy, has a good job, cares for his son, but he is still a conservative. Some of his views that I will not even go into because of their incendiary nature drive me insane. Our world views are so night and day different it makes me wonder if we are going to make it. These world views are from I am the daughter of a public school teacher and the president of a federal workers union. My boyfriend is the grandson of one of the richest men in Alabama, certainly the small town he is from. He insists that his grandfather worked hard for his wealth and I am sure that is true but to say that one man worked hard and therefore everyone who is poor or unemployed deserves if for being dumb or lazy makes my blood boil. The very idea that people “deserve” to be rich or “deserve” to be poor and that everyone in America is afforded the same quality in education or options for advancement is ludicrous to the point of cultural blindness. But I can hardly blame him. He lives in an affluent area of the Gulf Coast where the biggest industry down here is tourism I can see how he can form the opinion that society is here to serve and is at the leisure of the rich. According to him, the rich do provide jobs and “take risks” and therefore should be rewarded with wealth and not punished with taxes. And the workers? Yeah, he kind of glosses over that point. I hate to think what he thinks of we common folk. In his defense, he has had some shitty jobs and has been dished up some poverty, but he never developed a taste for it. And for that, I admire him.
The very thing that drives me crazy is exactly what I need. His conservative politics does influence his behavior. He is a bit authoritative and dominant, but he is also protective and a good provider. He sees money opportunities everywhere and in addition to his main job that provides him health benefits and stock options, he also has numerous side projects for web marketing. He is like a shark, always moving, always looking for the next bite. This shark like behavior has helped me tremendously. He knew I had a passion for writing and was struggling financially. Early in our relationship he said, “You are too talented to give it away for free.”
With his help, I am actually making money and he has helped me with a new site that will be even more profitable. I am very frustrated with how much time and effort it requires before it really takes off and makes me “a living.” But I have to trust him and trust myself. That and I do not think I am sexy enough to start serving drinks at the Flora-Bama.
He is also protective and more than a little jealous. The ex really could care less. He supposedly “trusted” me, but really I think
he did not think because he did not want me, why would anyone else. That is the downside of being with a gay man; he does not protect you from other suitors. Men can spot the weak and wounded of the heard. It is like they can smell the vulnerability. My boyfriend thinks I am beautiful. In fact, he thinks I am “too pretty” for him. I think this is a common dynamic where the woman is “more beautiful” than her male partner. When the man is more attractive, it makes me wonder I feel a bit sorry for her. I say that knowing that is not fair and completely sexist. My boyfriend is jealous and does not like me seeing other men. He is suspicious of all my guy-friends and right now I pretty much have few friends in this area outside of him and people I know from church. Then again, I think this happens to people in their mid-thirties, especially if you are new to an area. People in their thirties are all about their kids and they become internally focused. It is not like he is keeping me back, there are just not a whole lot of social opportunities.
I am a liberal from the North, but I am no Yankee and he is a conservative and thoroughly Southern without being racist or ignorant. He does think my extensive vocabulary is a bit “prissy” and he thinks that instead of reading books or magazines, I should be working on writing to be sold. I rarely get to read at night because instead of reading, he thinks I should be fucking him.
He takes care of me.
He takes care of me with his marketing ability that I lack and prevents me from making bad decisions with others. He keeps me close, and frankly, on my own I do some stupid shit. You have read this blog, I do crazy stuff just for the experience and that is just plain dangerous. The very qualities that I cringe at during our heated political discussions are the very qualities I need in a partner. Someone who willing and able to take care of me and for that I can endure some O’Reilly factor.
P.S…. We later broke up. One of the issues is because we had to different “world views.” Among so, so many other issues.