Yes, you read that right. A white sorority won a national step competition that prominently featured Divine 9 organizations. Our rhythmically-challenged, recessive gened sistren from the University of Arkansas, walked into our house, wiped their feet on the rug (they are Southern afterall), stayed, ate, then walked out with a win that I’m sure surprised everybody. Now, I’ve seen their routine. They did a good job. I have not seen the other routines so I’m not in a position to speak on their winning (and apparently due to a “discrepancy” Sprite has upgraded the 2nd place Tau Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha into a 1st place tie with the ZTA chapter – sounds like pandering to a gang of angry ninjas), but I will say that I’ll bet your last month’s rent that the “white girls doing Alpha steps efficiently” factor weighed heavily on their win. It’s like seeing the mentally challenged 6′15″ kid dunk on somebody. It looks WAY worse than it actually is making it look way better than it will ever be on a historical scale.

But like I said, they did a good job and I didn’t see everybody else. However, this did make me think about the fact that, “hey, white chicks won a step competition against a GANG of Black folks whose sole purpose was to win a step competition. Here they go again. First it was jazz, then it was rock ‘n roll. They jacking us AGAIN when we least expect it.” If we’re not careful, there’s more to lose.

Such as?

Glad you asked.

1. Spades

Spades is debatably the national Black card game. But more and more white dudes that hang with Black dudes are playing. Don’t be surprised if one day, White Jon takes his knowledge to Iowa and a spades tournament gets going with one Black team from Des Moines losing in the first round and then spades hitting ESPN 8: The Ocho with no Black people and being moderated by Bill O’Reilly. Look what happened with Uno. You don’t remember do you? Exactly.

2. HBCU’s turning into OINHBCU (Only in Name HBCU)

Morehouse had its first white valedictorian a few years back. It only takes a few and next thing you know beer pong and body shots replace good old fashioned weed and 40 night. I’d be more worried if Spelman had a white valedictorian. Black dudes probably weren’t paying attention. Ain’t no sister gonna get upstaged by a white chick on her her home tuf.

Oh wait. the Sprite Step Off.

Sigh.

Nevermind.

3. The Hood

Hm. Wait, they got that too, only they changed it from the hood to the neighborhood and brought in Starbucks and started walking dogs at 3am and raised property values so high that folks can’t afford to live there even if they ho themselves out 9 days a week and on Sundays.

Ah! I got one.

4. R&B and Neo-soul

Though for some reason Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Joss Stone, Amy Winehouse, and Duff seemed to have gotten insane hood passes. Oh yeah, and they sell more. And Robin Thicke married Paula Patton. I think I’m sort of losing this one too.

Hm.

5. Tyler Perry movies

We need not be careful here, I was just running out of options, though I know quite a few white people who watch Tyler Perry movies. Possibly because a train wreck is a train wreck and we all can’t help but watch. At least he’s getting money though.

What’s my point again?

6. Hip-hop

At least Eminem is currently the only really viable white cat with enough hood credibility to truly be a threat, but he’s from the D so, I mean, who can be mad at that. However, producers are becoming by and large less Black and more other. And the best producer of the New York sound is from Texas. My point is that anything can happen. Hell we took over golf and a Chinaman is the tallest NBA player.

7. Swagger

I see more and more white people rocking that Black man swagger that so many of us fall back on when we forget to graduate from Everest College.

But at least…

8. The myth

Isn’t going anywhere.

I’ll stop there since really, there’s nothing that white people aren’t moving in on. Lest we forget, The Color Purple is a Spielberg directed movie. Help. Us.

Falks, I’ve failed. Can you think of anything we haven’t lost that’s in jeopardy if we don’t pay attention?!

Help.Me.

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